Monday, 20 November 2017

Leilani - Free Writing - The Cave!

Walt: write a detailed narrative from a sentence starter  Walt: use descriptive words to make a narrative more exciting

The Cave
I walked into the dark, gloomy, damp cave. Everything was silent apart from the slow drip of water above my head. Suddenly the silence was shattered by a loud shriek! What was that?

How does your story begin?
One day I was with my friends on  a bush walk. Then I saw a cave so we decided to go check it out. It was dark , gloomy , damp cave. Everything was silent apart from the slow drip of water above my head.Suddenly the silence was shattered by a loud shriek!

Setting - Where and when does the story take place?
In a dark cave.

Characters: Who are the characters in your story? Describe what they look like? What they sounds like?
There are four characters in my story -
Myself - Medium black hair , short and has a very quiet voice but very humble.
My Friend ( Paige ) Medium brown hair , short and is very smart.
The Monster ( Peter ) Bad , Wears black long jacket everywhere and very naughty.
Dog ( Boo ) Breed - Husky & Bulldog , very strong clever.

How do they manage to get back home from the cave?
It took them 48 hours to get out of the cave. Their dog boo has a great nose so he could get them out of the cold and dark cave. They had enough food for them to eat while they were in the cave. They both got locked up in a cage by Peter. So they quickly came up with a plan and got out of there. Their dog showed the way out.

Conclusion: How does your story end?
Paige and myself got out of there and went straight home. They learnt to always have parents supervising them instead of going out without parents. They lived happily ever after!

Start writing your story in full sentences here:
On one hot sunny day Paige and I went on a walk to Mangere mountains. It was the perfect day and time  to do it. When we were on the mountains walking up to the top we saw a dark , scary cave. We thought it  would be so  cool so we decided to go and check it out. It was cold , dark , gloomy and damp . It was very , very silent.  Suddenly we heard a loud shriek! Me and Paige started freaking out!

Oooo No! Huge rocks started falling down from the  top of the cave. Paige and I quickly took cover underneath a massive  rock. “ I am super scared I want to go home “ said Paige.  I replied and said “ it is going to be okay we will find a way out of here” Out of nowhere we heard a spooky voice. “ Come here right now , I am going to lock yous up in a dark and secret cave! “ We had no idea who that was so it took us!

“ Paige , Paige ,PAIGE! Where are you? “ I said. I was freaking out ,  I hope I didn’t lose Paige because she is my best friend. “ Leilani , come on I am right here “ said Paige.” Phew I thought you died or I lost you or whatever else! “. It was finally time for Leilani and Paige to get out of the dark , cold cage before the scary monster came back. Suddenly they  heard pawsteps. They  both thought it was the scary monster so they cuddled up together.  But it was their dog Boo. He was trained to help us out he is so cute!. Paige and Leilani  told him to get the keys so that we could get out of the cage. So he did. He is so clever. Phew Leilani and Paige got out of the cage before the monster came back! So they  tiptoed to the rocks that had fallen down for the top if the cave. They  said  that we should  push the huge rocks out of the way. “ PUSH , PUSH ugh I give up this is way too heavy! ” Man I was running out of breath while Paige was sitting there eating some yummy sandwiches.

( 2 hours later ) I was huffing and puffing lots of times because I did all of the work just to get the rock out of our way so that we could go back home and to get out of the cave. We grabbed our stuff and ran to our home. “ We are never , never , ever going back there again” I said. Maybe if we go back in there I think Paige needs to help me out more because she did nothing! Then we lived happily ever after!
Task description - Room 8 is doing a free writing all about the cave. We had to write the story based off this image link. Here is my version. I made it into a scary , spooky story. I tried my best at writing the paragraphs. Of course before I write my story I have to plan. Because planning makes your writing more organised. I don't normally follow my plan because I change it up a bit. God bless you an your family , stay safe and see ya later!

No comments:

Post a Comment